Over the weekend, I could feel my skin tightening up. I was supposed to be enjoying a relaxing weekend with my children and husband, but the slightest thing would set me off. I felt that I was getting ready to burst. I hate that. I hate myself when I get like that. Why do I lash out at those I love? I cannot trust myself; my emotions; my actions. It sucks.
I tried so hard to enjoy the weekend. I did c"fun" things with my children, extra things with my 6 year old daughter. I shopped, I ate well, I exercised. Nothing seemed to break the edge though. I felt as though I just could NOT connect with my life. Am I alone? Does anyone else know what it feels like to float above your life, loving people, seeing how good life is, but not able to enjoy it? It really breaks my heart.
Today, I knew that I needed to get work done. I just could not focus. I tried, but I was making mistakes left and right and all I wanted to do was sleep. I honestly don't think I could hold down a job right now. Thank goodness I own my own business and I work with my husband. He's a saint. He's understanding, but I can see his patience is wearing thin...
Its like no matter how hard I try. I just cannot shake this and I can't break free of this heavy burden. Hopefully I'll feel some relief soon.
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